Trust
by Sophia.Love.Linstead
Summary: Set after 'I Remember Her Now', an important conversation between our fave couple Erin and Jay.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Chicago PD.**

 **A/N: Okay, so I couldn't get this idea out of my head since the recent episode. So I just had to write it down. There are probably a lot of mistakes, it's almost 1am and I'm so tired.**

 **Enjoy :)**

Trust

" _See you at home." Erin sends me a small smile and places a reassuring hand on my arm before leaving me alone with Ellie._

" _Is that your girlfriend?" I feel a smile automatically tug at my lips, the smile almost sheepish._

 _I exhale and nod my head; Ellie cracks a smile in return._

" _I'm sorry."_

" _Thank you."_

 _Our words clash and the tension in the room disappears._

* * *

Jay POV

I drag my tired body up the stairs to our apartment feeling our bed calling my name but knowing Erin and I should speak before I let sleep consume me.

She's hard to read and I don't know what I'm walking into. She understands how we need to commit when we go undercover, but I hope she also knows I would never cross that line.

This case took it out of me, questioning my instincts when it seemed Ellie had lied to me. Unsure of the information I'd gathered and feeling on the outs with the team.

It seemed as if Hank was simultaneously asking for me to commit further to my undercover role and being disapproving of the accusations flung my way in the interrogation room.

I feel my outburst was justified, the questioning looks that were coming my way in the squad room making their way under my skin. I'd hoped the unit knew me and my morals by now.

When I enter the apartment I see Erin already in shorts and one of my shirts ready for bed.

"Hey." She whispers tiredly as she drinks some beer.

"Hey babe." I answer as I walk in and collapse next to her on the couch, wishing it would swallow me whole and protect me from this conversation.

I open my eyes when I feel the couch shift and get my defenses up ready for the pending fight, assuming the worst. That Erin is running away from this talk. Hiding from me and from us.

A sigh of relief escapes my lips as she grabs another beer from the fridge and gives it to me before taking her seat again.

"Relax Jay. We're cool." She places her hand on my thigh as I bring the beer bottle to my lips.

"Are we though?" I take a swig enjoying the bitter taste in my mouth, whether from my words or the liquid swirling around my mouth.

"Yeah."

"So… you weren't jealous?" The conversation is like pulling teeth.

"Nah, I'm not like that. Besides, you gotta commit to go undercover."

"I recall a time you were jealous." I smirk at her, enjoying her eye roll and slight pink tinting her cheeks.

"Please." She lets out a low laugh.

"I seem to remember the words… 'I'll kill her'."

"Yeah, yeah. Jealous of the attention but I knew nothing was going to happen." She tells me simply.

"Ever happen. With anyone." I amend, my tone serious.

"I know. We're cops Jay, it's who we are. I admit I don't like these cases. Where we have to pretend like that, but also the thought of those poor girls… of Ellie and what she's had to do. Breaks my heart." Erin stares off in the distance.

"But this. It's our job Jay, so no I wasn't jealous. And I absolutely know nothing happened. I know you believed her because you're damn good at your job and you care. Not because you screwed her. That didn't even cross my mind."

"How though?"

"I'm sorry, you know?" Erin tells me suddenly.

"Huh?" I reply confused, unsure if I'm missing something with all the brain fog from exhaustion.

"That I've given you so many reasons to think I'd ever think that, let alone run away from this. From us." She brings her hand to my cheek.

I shake my head before leaning in to join our lips.

"To answer your question." She mumbles against my lips, before pressing them firmly against mine again and then moving back.

"It didn't cross my mind because I trust you. Not just with my life but also with my heart. Even if we weren't together and you weren't tied down there is no way Jay Halstead would do that. The man I know and love has morals and good in him. Not only is it breaking the rules, but you would never take advantage of anyone but certainly not a young girl who had a rough life and was forced into this."

"You're amazing Erin Lindsay."

"I know." She smirks at me and we sit there in silence for a few minutes.

She is playing with my hand, our fingers intertwined when I speak next.

"I wasn't tempted."

"What?" Her voice is quiet and her eyes vulnerable.

"I just want you to know this. You know I didn't sleep with her or do anything, I mean she kissed my cheek when she came onto me and she grabbed at my belt buckle – and I'm telling you this so we have no secrets between us. But I didn't feel any temptation; I wasn't into it… into her. I was certainly uncomfortable but… it's not like I had to try and behave myself. I never have to, it's important for you to know that. You're the only one for me Erin."

Her eyes are sparkling with unshed tears.

"Thank you for telling me. I'll admit, I tried not to… but I wondered." She leans in and presses her lips to mine again, our tongues dual and she moves to straddle me.

"Wait." My hands gently stop her.

"What?" Erin's face shows confusion and a touch of hurt.

"You want to know why I was so sure Ellie was telling the truth?" Erin hesitates but eventually nods.

"She reminded me of you." Erin shifts on the couch and looks away.

"I know you don't like to talk about it, and that's okay. But I'm always going to be here, no matter what you tell me. I'm not going anywhere, I love you."

Erin nods but she's still avoiding eye contact.

"I looked at Ellie and how broken she was… how beat down by life and the system… but she still had plenty of fight in her. Like you. You have so much fight in you…"

"I was broken. Maybe I still am." My heart clenches at Erin's words.

"Hank helped. You helped. You helped the most Jay. I never thought I would have a guy like you in my life. Didn't think I deserved one. You are so understanding and… _good_ and when I was young I could only dream of a man like you. I certainly never thought I would trust one like I do you. Never thought I would have a committed relationship, where it's equal and full of love not ultimatums. I definitely didn't see myself living with anyone."

My eyes are full of tears as Erin opens up to me; I wait a few moments wondering if she will share more.

"When I looked at Ellie, I couldn't help but see you. How easily you could have ended up in a place like that if it wasn't for Hank."

"Maybe not, I probably would have stayed on the streets. With Charlie." She cringes when she says his name and I know she isn't recalling any happy memories.

"He's not much better than those at Brady."

"Jay." Her voice urges me not to push this subject.

She knows I've seen her CI file and she knows I can put the pieces together about Charlie's role in everything.

"Ellie didn't want to be there, life had already taken so much from her. So much good, and then they tried taking the rest. Her eyes were so conflicted, she wanted out before it consumed all of her."

Erin knows I'm also speaking of her struggles too and I know she understands why I was so sure Ellie was the victim here. Why I knew she was innocent.

"Thank you." Erin's words are quiet but I hear them.

"Thank you." I echo back.

"What for?" Erin's eyes finally meet mine again.

"For trusting me." She just nods at me blinking back tears.

"How are you doing?" She asks gently as she runs a hand through my hair.

"Tired. It was a tough one."

"Yeah. I don't like cases like this."

"I know, baby." I pull her onto my lap and place a kiss in her hair.

We sit there for a few moments, listening to each other's breathing and feeling the others heart beating.

The moment is comforting and calm and full of love. We sit there until I can barely keep my eyes open anymore.

"Babe, I need to go to bed." Erin nods tiredly against me in response before getting up and take our beers to the kitchen.

She comes back and takes my hand as I stand from the couch; she reaches up and attaches her soft lips to mine.

"I love you." She whispers, her eyes smiling up at me.

"I love you too." We kiss again, it growing more passionate as Erin slips her hands under my shirt.

"I need a shower." I tell her as I back her into the bedroom.

"I'll join you." She replies with a smirk and raised brow.

She has never looked more sexy.

"You've already showered."

"You can never be too clean." She giggles as I pick her up and carry her into the bathroom.

As we stand under the stream of the hot water, steam all around us and gazing into each others eyes I feel how lucky I am to come home to the love of my life every day. Especially on days like today.

"You're so beautiful." I tell her before kissing her again and pushing her back against the shower tiles.

* * *

As we drift off to sleep that night, wrapped in each other's arms, hair wet from the shower we know we can get through anything life throws our way, together.

We saved each other.

 **A/N: Please leave me a review and let me know your thoughts.**

 **If you have any requests or ideas for stories or one shots let me know :)**


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